Funny Oscar Patient Person in Line
I've been thinking about Oscar Pistorious's case...
I don't think he's got a leg to stand on.
On the upside, Oscar Pistorus has had his paralympic classification promoted...
...he's gone from T43 (double below knee amputee) all the way up to T800 (The Terminator).
Oscar Pistorius is pleading not guilty to the charge of premeditated murder
Frankly I don't think he's got a leg to stand on.
I was surprised Oscar Pistorius owned a gun in the first place.
I would have thought he preferred blades.
"Bloodied cricket bat found in Oscar Pistorius' house"
In addition, locals have told police that he was previously sighted with stumps.
Who's Leonardo Dicaprio's least favorite Sesame Street character?
Oscar Pistorius misunderstood his girlfriend...
when she said: "for Valentines day, can you take me out?"
What is the difference between a gay man and a hot dog?
One is an oscar meyer weiner, the other admires oscar's weinner
Poor Oscar Pistorius, he had the world at his feet...
If only he knew where they were.
Bad taste
"If you'd had a tin of shoe polish, you could have blackened her up and got away with it," I said to Oscar Pistorius, laughing.
Then I realised that was in bad taste. Why would he have a tin of shoe polish?
What do a common garbage can and Leonardo DiCaprio have in common?
No Oscar!
You can explore oscar leo reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean oscar hollywood dad jokes. There are also oscar puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
Oscar Pistorius was keen to get a new bathroom door....
but his girlfriend was dead against it.
Source: Scorch-O-Rama cafe, Wellington, New Zealand
Roses are red...
Roses are red,
Violets are glorious,
Don't spend Valentine's,
With Oscar Pistorious
^^I'll ^^see ^^myself ^^out
I bet if Leornardo DiCaprio has a kid...
he names it Oscar so he can finally have one.
Lets be honest
Oscar Pistorius will never set foot in a prison
What's the difference between the Academy Awards and the Paralympics
In the Paralympics Blade Runner is an Oscar winning performance
(I realise this joke is now three years too late)
What did Matthew McConaughey say when he saw this year's Oscar nominees?
All white, all white, all whiiiiiiiite...
Positive...
James finds a friend whom he hasn't spoken with for a long time, so to be nice, he breaks the ice:
" -Hey Oscar, how are you doing?"
" -Terrible."
" -What?! What about your Ferrari?"
" -Wrecked in an accident... and the insurance had just expired."
" -Well, you win some, you lose some... And what about your son, the intelectual one?"
" -He was the one driving the Ferrari. Died upon impact."
" -But what about your beautiful daughter, didn't she say she wanted to be a model or something?"
" -She did, yeah... And was with her brother. She died too. Only person who wasn't in the car was my wife."
" -Oh thank God! How is she?"
" -She ran off with my bussiness partner."
" -Well, at least you got the company."
" -Yeah, a bankrupt one... I owe millions."
" -Jesus, dude! Do you have anything positive in your life?"
" -Yeah, HIV."
What's the difference between Leonardo Dicaprio and Sesame Street?
Sesame Street has an Oscar.
Have you heard about the Oscar Pistorius drinking game?
Every time your girlfriend goes to the bathroom, you take 5 shots.
I phoned my insurance agent earlier and asked him for a quote.
He said " I have nothing to declare but my genius. Oscar Wilde, 1882 ".
I replied "Sarcasm is the lowest form of wit. Oscar Wilde, 1882 ".
Oscar Pistorius is soon getting out of jail. 10 months without sex, you should hide, ladies.
But for the love of God, not in the bathroom.
Leo's First Oscar
Leonardo DiCaprio in the delivery room.
Leo: "What is it doc?!"
Doctor: "It's a bo-"
Leo: "NO! NO! LIKE WE REHEARSED!"
*Doctor sighs, handing the baby boy to Leo*
Doctor: "And the "Oscar" goes to Leonardo DiCaprio for the role of Father in Conception.
Why did Leonardo DiCaprio visit Sesame Street?
It was his only chance to see an Oscar
What's the difference between a South African prison and Leonardo Dicaprio?
A South African prison has an Oscar
Have you heard about the new Oscar Pistorius drinking game?
If your wife goes to the bathroom, take 4 shots.
Roses are red...
Violets are glorious.
I wouldn't surprise
Oscar Pistorius.
Tesla, Oscar Wilde, and Sherlock Holmes walk into a bar.
The punchline of this joke was patented and then hidden by Thomas Edison.
Have you heard about the Oscar Pistorius drinking game?
Every time someone goes to the toilet take 4 shots
Oscar Pistorius wants a new bathroom door
His girlfriend is dead against it.
Why did Adele crawl under the cow?
...to say hello from the udder side.
I'll take my Oscar now.
When is the closest Leo will get to an Oscar?
When he takes out the trash
What's pretty and expensive but has no use?
Leonardo DiCaprio's Oscar shelf.
What's the difference between the Oscars and the BET Awards?
Oscar winners can thank BOTH of their parents.
How many black Oscar nominees would it take (compared to white nominees) to satisfy the boycotters?
Three-fifths as many seems like a generous offer.
What's the difference between Oscar the grouch and a grouch at the Oscars?
Ones green and the other is black
I bet the bear from The Revenant would have been nominated for an Oscar...
If he was a Polar bear
Its terrible how so few black people get nominated for an Oscar
It's so sad they're not as talented as white people.
Oscar
If you're Leonardo, you must have got it by now.
I may not have as many Oscars as Leo anymore but...
I've still got as many Tour De France wins as Lance Armstrong.
What is the Revenant about?
The unbearable lengths one man will go to get his revenge and win an Oscar.
Oscar Pistorious wanted to get his bathroom door replaced
But his wife was dead against it
Let's play the Oscar Pistorius drinking game
Whenever your girlfriend goes to the bathroom take a shot
And the Oscar goes too..........
Prison.
Oscar Pistorious
That sounds like a spell Harry Potter uses to make your legs fall off
And the Oscar goes to...
Jail.
I finally realised why Oscar Pistorius lost his trial
Because from a legal point he didn't have a leg to stand on.
Did you guys see the movie about the hotdog?
It was an Oscar Wiener
There should be a fictional biopic about Leonardo DiCaprio's fight for his oscar.
But I guess whoever plays him will win an Oscar for it.
Oscar Wilde once boasted that he could make a pun on any subject...
Someone called out "The Queen!"
"Ah", replied Wilde, "but the Queen is not a subject."
Are we sure that Oscar Pistorius was the only one involved in the murder of his girlfriend?
Someone else may well have done the leg work.
Do you know what made Oscar Pistorius so angry at his girlfriend?
She was looking at another man's legs.
Have you heard about the Oscar Pistorius drinking game?
Every time somebody goes in a bathroom and locks the door, you take four shots.
If you ever feel like you can't do something, just remember...
Suicide Squad is an Oscar nominated film.
La La Land wins Oscar in Best Picture
But Moonlight won the popular vote
Oscars experience mistake awarding Best Picture to Moonlight...
Hollywood blames Russian hacking
A Red Oscar Envelope walks into a bar and asks
am I Moonlighting or Emma Stoned?
Breaking News: In a press media briefing, United Airlines CEO Oscar Munoz has stated...
"Since we cannot beat our competitors, we have resorted to beating our customers".
What is oscar pistorius' favourite band?
Bullet for my valentine.
Despite Oscar Pistorius' terrible actions, you HAVE to cut him some slack.
Come on, he's never had a leg to stand on
If there's a lesson to be learned from the Oscar Pistorius tragedy,
It's that cyborgs are not to be trusted.
Oscar Wilde walks into a bar with a large manuscript under his arm...
The bartender asks, "Why the long farce?"
Roses are red, violets are glorious
Never sneak up,
On oscar pistorious
It's weird Hollywood hates Trump
Considering Oscar is a tiny gold man that has historically overlooked minorities
I saw that Get Out has a 40% Chance of Winning the Best Picture Oscar
White People Finally get to see what it's like to be 3/5ths
Why hasn't Liam Neeson been nominated for another Oscar in the last 10 years?
All his roles have been Taken
Oscar Wilde once said you can never be overdressed
Clearly he never showed up to an orgy in a clown suit
How are Manchester City and Oscar Pistorius similar?
They lost both legs, but still managed to get four shots on target.
Why did Oscar Pistorius lose his murder trial?
Because his defense didn't have a leg to stand on
If you can read this...
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The Olympic committee wanted to name a celestial body after Oscar Pistorius.
But they were denied since he is already a shooting star.
Where did Oscar the Grouch get all of his opiates from?
Poppy street
Actresses and actors who lose an Oscar all get the opportunity to act together.
Happy for the person who won.
Lady Gaga won an Oscar?
I heard it on my radio.
I heard Oscar the Grouch was getting kicked off of Sesame Street.
Apparently he was trash talking the other cast members behind their backs.
"Gone with the Wind" was responsible for the first African American women recieving an Oscar
Because it's very hard it is to act like slavery was kinda cool.
I earned an Oscar for being the best producer.
He was born and named yesterday after my long fight against fertility.
Where does Oscar from The Office get his water?
From the well, actually.
My Oscars speech
I have to thank my arms for always being at my side, my legs for supporting me and my fingers because i could always count on them.
Why is Oscar the Grouch from Sesame Street so angry all the time?
Irritable Vowel Syndrome.
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Source: https://jokojokes.com/oscar-jokes.html
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